More than a Little Depressed Today.....

                     For Today would have been my Mother's Birthday... Her 71st....
Really miss her.... Lost her to Breast Cancer ( 11 years ago today).... Yes My Mom died on her Birthday (her 60th)....Eyes are watering....making it more difficult to see to type......
She was a wonderful , kind-hearted woman., whose "self-sacrifice" knew no bounds... She was always trying to do what she could to help others ....( She saw to it that Stacey was raised the same way....)
    as she got worse (mostly bed-ridden ) She ....  did not want anyone to know how much pain she was in , or how "bad off" she was ....She was a  very "strong-willed" person.....
... we miss her so very much... I tried to always be here , on hand in case she needed anything....
My sister came by every day after she got off work to tend to my dying Mom.... I tried my best , but my Sister was a Much Better "care-giver".... (We are Not putting my Sister through having to tend to and care for me when my illness gets too bad... she deserves her own life)
...She was always doing whatever she could for us ( to the point of doing without herself )... had never seen someone slowly die over an extended period of time... I tried my best to do what I could to make her more comfortable.... a few weeks before she passed ... her doctor told her that remarkably her cancer had gone into total remission..... within just a couple of weeks , it came back and rapidly spread through-out her chest cavity... ( we wish that we had not seen the couple of X-rays hanging at the nurse's station in the intensive care section... a mass of "root-like growth , as well as assorted sized "orbs" had completely taken over her lungs and heart...) .. the Friday before ..she could not breath.... so we called the medics... as they were loading her in the back of the ambulance, she saw how "upset that I was and told me "not to worry, Everything is going to be OK".... Those were the last words she ever spoke to me....
.. at the hospital she was unable to speak (they had so many tubes and hoses stuck into her...)
               while talking to her, the only response we got was she would begin to cry....
                                  That was the last that I ever saw of my Mom...
      She passed on her 60th birthday , only a couple of days after they took her to the hospital.
                                                   Her name was "Carole".....